Hello, and welcome back to yet
another inspirational podcast episode
brought to you by yours truly Carina Bull.
I'm your truth speaker.
Truth seeker, truth keeper, and I'm so
glad that you are here with me today.
Hey, it's Carina and welcome
back to Soul Medicine.
You didn't lose yourself.
You traded parts of
yourself to stay connected,
and if something in you just
went quiet, hearing that.
This episode is for you.
It starts subtly.
You stop saying what you really
think because it creates tension.
You soften your tone so
you don't sound too much.
You let things slide.
Even when your body tightens, you
tell yourself it's easier this way.
That it's not a big deal that you are
just being understanding, but what you
are actually doing is negotiating with
yourself over how much of you gets
to exist in order to stay connected.
Here's the truth, most people never
say out loud, you didn't become this
way because it's your personality.
You became this way because at some point,
being fully yourself cost you something.
Love, safety, approval, belonging.
So your system adapted it.
Learned, be quieter, be easier, be less.
Be what they need, not what you are.
And it worked.
It kept you connected, but it also
started disconnecting you from yourself.
You think you are protecting the
relationship, but you are actually
protecting the version of you
that had to shrink to stay in it.
You think you're keeping the peace,
but your body is the one paying for it.
And this is the part no
one prepares you for.
And over time you realize the
love you kept cost you yourself,
and you can feel it in the moments
you go quiet when you wanted to
speak in the way your chest tightens.
When you swallow the truth
in the exhaustion of constantly
adjusting yourself just to be accepted,
you can feel it, even if
you've never said it out.
This isn't weakness.
This isn't you being too sensitive.
This is what happens when your nervous
system learns that being fully expressed
isn't always safe, so it protects
you by keeping parts of you hidden.
Of course, you became this way.
Of course you learned to read the room.
To anticipate reactions to soften yourself
before anyone else could reject you.
That wasn't you failing,
that was you surviving,
but here's where this
becomes a problem now.
You can't build a life that feels
aligned while you are still filtering
yourself to be accepted in it.
At some point, the version of you that
kept you safe starts keeping you stuck.
And this isn't something that shifts
just by thinking about it because this
pattern doesn't live in your mind.
It lives in your body, your reactions,
your silence, your hesitation.
Let's just come back to you for a
moment, and I just invite you to place
one hand on your chest and just notice
where do you hold yourself back the most?
Is it in your voice, your
needs, your emotions?
Don't analyze it, just feel it
and gently ask yourself, what
am I holding in that I'm ready
to stop carrying like this?
Let whatever comes come.
You didn't lose yourself, you adapted.
But just because you learned
to be smaller doesn't mean you
are meant to stay this way.
Just because it was
doesn't mean it will be.
This is the work I support women
with not forcing you to be louder.
Not pushing you to change overnight, but
helping your body feel safe enough to
actually stay with your truth without
abandoning yourself in the process.
And if even hearing this feels like
a lot, the ground clear protect
meditation is a gentle place to start.
It will help you settle your system so
you can begin to hear yourself again.
You'll find it in the show notes
and when you're ready to stop
shrinking just to be loved.
I will be here ready and
waiting with love Carina.