Podcast Episode #43 - Why You’re Starting To Resent Everyone
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[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome back to yet another inspirational podcast episode brought to you by yours truly, Carina. I'm your truth speaker, truth seeker, truth keeper, and I am so glad that you're here with me today.
Hey, it's Carina, and welcome back to Soul Medicine. If you've started feeling irritated by people needing you, this episode is probably going to make you uncomfortable because resentment doesn't usually begin with anger. It begins the moment you keep saying yes after your body already said no. [00:01:00] I'm Carina Bull, an intuitive guide, tarot advisor, Reiki practitioner, coach based in regional Victoria, Australia.
Through tarot, Reiki, and nervous system awareness, I help emotionally overwhelmed women just like you uncover the patterns you learned to survive, so you can stop abandoning yourself and start living from truth instead of fear. And today, I want to talk to you about resentment. Not the loud kind, the quiet kind.
The kind that builds slowly underneath competence, underneath caregiving, underneath being the woman everyone relies on. Because eventually, the role that once made you feel valuable starts feeling like a cage. You answer the messages, [00:02:00] remember the birthdays, carry the emotional weight, notice everything before anyone else does, and from the outside, you look capable.
But inside, you're starting to resent how emotionally available you've become to everyone. You fantasize about silence, about nobody asking anything from you, about sitting in a room where nobody needs your nervous system. Not because you don't love people, but because you're exhausted from being emotionally reachable all the time.
Here's the truth you don't say out loud You became so useful [00:03:00] that nobody noticed you were disappearing. You became the organiser, the emotional regulator, the steady one, the woman who absorbs impact like a sea wall in a storm. And now your life feels like an emergency room. Nobody lets you leave.
Everyone keeps handing you pieces of themselves while you quietly bleed out in the corner pretending you're fine. But here's the uncomfortable part. You trained people to expect unlimited access to you. You answer immediately, carry things before they're asked, over-function before anyone gets disappointed, emotionally anticipate everyone around [00:04:00] you.
And now you resent people for taking the access you taught them they could have. That doesn't make you bad, but it does make this pattern yours to interrupt. And eventually, you stop feeling like a woman with needs. You become a machine people plug themselves into. And the terrifying part? You stop knowing whether people actually love you or just love access to you.
Your relationship stops feeling like connection. They feel like unpaid emotional labor, like everyone is drinking from a well nobody notices is running dry. You think your resentment means something is wrong with you, [00:05:00] but resentment is what happens when your soul keeps screaming, "Enough," and you keep answering, "Just one more thing."
Your resentment is not the problem. Your self-abandonment is, my darling. Resentment is just the smoke alarm. And I want you to notice something honestly. You say nobody helps you, but how often do you refuse help before it even arrives? How often do you take over because it feels easier than trusting someone else to carry something imperfectly?
How often do you say, "It's okay, I'll do it," while secretly building resentment underneath it? 'Cause I know I do. All the time. Because somewhere along the way, being needed became [00:06:00] part of your identity, and your nervous system confuses emotional exhaustion with value. You learned early that being needed kept you safe.
So now you overgive before anyone can reject you, over-function before anyone gets disappointed, over-carry before anyone accuses you of being selfish, and your body is exhausted from living like a human life support system. So this week, I want you to notice how quickly you volunteer yourself emotionally.
Notice how quickly you fix, soothe, reply, carry, anticipate, or absorb. Notice how uncomfortable your body becomes when you don't immediately step in [00:07:00] because that discomfort, that's the addiction to being needed. And I want you to ask yourself honestly, where have you become emotionally available beyond your actual capacity?
Not loving, not caring, over-available. I just want you to put a hand on your chest for a moment. I just want you to breathe.
Now ask yourself, who do you secretly resent for how much access they have to you? And under that resentment, what need have you abandoned in yourself?
You are allowed to [00:08:00] stop mothering everyone emotionally. You are allowed to let people experience their own discomfort without rushing in to rescue them from it. You are allowed to exist without constantly proving your value through emotional labor, and you are allowed to disappoint people if the alternative is continuously disappearing from yourself.
This is the work I support women through. Not teaching you how to become, become more selfless, not teaching you how to hold more, but helping you reconnect to yourself underneath the roles, pressure, emotional labor survival patterns and invisible responsibility you've been carrying for years so you can stop leading from depletion and [00:09:00] start living from truth again and if this episode speaks to you I want to hear from you oh yes I do email me tell me what you've been carrying on your own because sometimes women listen to this podcast for months before they finally say the thing out loud and that moment matters my email is in the show notes you don't have to hold everything alone before you're fully ready so before you automatically say yes this week before you emotionally rescue before you absorb someone else's discomfort pause and ask yourself do I actually want to give this or am I afraid of what happens if I don't [00:10:00] resentment does not make you selfish it's often the first honest signal your body sends after years of silent self-abandonment a nervous system can only survive being emotionally consumed for so long before it starts setting fires on purpose and just because survival taught you that your worth comes from being needed doesn't mean that the light that's the life you're meant to keep living because it was doesn't mean it will be and when you're ready to stop disappearing inside emotional responsibility I'll be here ready and waiting with love Carina