Podcast Episode #44 -
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[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome back to yet another inspirational podcast episode brought to you by yours truly, Carina. I'm your truth speaker, truth seeker, truth keeper, and I am so glad that you're here with me today
One of the biggest things I've noticed lately with the women I work with is just how much anger and resentment they're silently carrying. And I don't mean explosive anger, I mean the invisible anger, the dangerous anger, the anger that gets swallowed so many [00:01:00] times it stops sounding like anger altogether and starts sounding like, "I'm just tired.
I'm overwhelmed. I'm anxious. I just need a weekend away." No, Susan, you don't need a bubble bath. You're emotionally carrying half the people around you, and your nervous system is about three business days away from filing a formal complaint. And honestly, I think a lot of women don't even realize how angry they are because they were never really allowed to be angry in the first place.
Hi, I'm Carina Bull, trauma-aware facilitator, intuitive mentor, and apparently a professional pattern interrupter. I help women recognize and interrupt the patterns behind hypervigilance, over-functioning, emotional exhaustion, and [00:02:00] self-abandonment so they can reconnect with who they were before survival taught them who they had to be.
And honestly, around here, we do emotional truth, nervous system awareness, and the occasional lovingly delivered truth bomb Because a lot of women think anger only counts if you're screaming, if you're throwing things, if you're visibly raging. But most female anger doesn't look like that. It looks like quietly doing everything for everyone while internally fantasizing about running away to a cabin in the woods where nobody asks you where their bloody school socks are.
It looks like resentment, irritability, [00:03:00] emotional exhaustion, snapping over tiny things because your nervous system is already overloaded before the day even begins. It looks like lying awake at night, mentally tracking everyone else's needs while yours sit at the bottom of the pile for the seventeenth year in a row It looks like, "I'll do it myself.
It's easier if I just handle it. Don't worry about me," while secretly feeling completely unseen. And honestly, so many women are carrying anger they don't even realize exists because survival taught them very early [00:04:00] to keep the peace. Don't upset people. Don't be difficult. Don't be emotional. Stay agreeable.
Stay useful. Stay quiet, especially if being emotionally expressive once felt unsafe. And this is where we need to talk about something deeper because this isn't just an individual woman problem. This is conditioning, generational conditioning, patriarchal conditioning, nervous system conditioning. Women have historically been rewarded for self-abandonment, for caregiving, for emotional labor, for carrying everyone else, for being good.
Meanwhile, anger in women often gets labeled [00:05:00] dramatic, hormonal, difficult, aggressive, irrational, too much. So what do women do? They suppress it. They intellectualize it. They minimize it. They turn it inward until eventually the body starts expressing what the mouth never felt safe enough to say. Anxiety, burnout, exhaustion, hypervigilance, chronic tension, emotional numbness Because the nervous system was never designed to permanently carry this much suppressed emotional weight And the problem with suppressed anger [00:06:00] is that it doesn't disappear.
It leaks into relationships, into your body, into your self-worth, into resentment towards the people you love, into exha- exhaustion so deep you stop recognizing yourself. Some women become so good at functioning while emotionally drowning that nobody around them even realizes how close they are to breaking point, including them And eventually survival becomes identity.
You stop asking, "What do I feel?" And start asking, "What does everyone else need from me?" That's not peace. [00:07:00] That's self-abandonment wearing a socially acceptable outfit. But here's the thing, your anger is not the problem. Your anger is information, it's data, it's feedback. It's often the part of you that knows something isn't sustainable anymore, something hurts, something matters, something needs to change.
Anger can actually be the beginning of reconnection because underneath so much female anger is grief, exhaustion, loneliness, unmet needs, and a woman who has spent far too long carrying everything alone And sometimes healing [00:08:00] isn't becoming somebody new. It's finally allowing yourself to hear the truth about how you actually feel.
So if this episode resonated with you, maybe this week just notice where are you overriding yourself? Where are you saying it's fine when actually it isn't? Where has survival taught you to suppress what your body has been trying to say for years? And if you're wanting support around these patterns, you can explore the Soul Medicine Circle or my one-on-one sessions, or join my email community through the links below.
And until next time, please remember, you are allowed to is- [00:09:00] exist outside survival mode. With love, Carina